Intro: The Polaroid Suitcase
In music and in fashion
I express myself as a member of
a higher species
I no longer have any trouble walking or speaking
I am on my way toward
flying into the charts
My hand gestures express power and nobility
People are starting
to call me a sex god
Supernatural sounds emanate from my synthesiser
I walk about in
ecstasy
Not like the drug, cos I don't do drugs no more
But like the gods I saw dancing
on Top of the Pops
I am no longer human
I have become Gary Le Strange
Ballerina
Ballerina,
Ballerina
See him dance across the stage
Dressed in silk as white as milk
A hero from
a bygone age
Ballerina, Ballerina
See him prancing in his tights
Pirouetting in the
mist
Just like some old heraldic knight
Look at him go, he's a special treat
Dancing
around on his blessed feet
He's really cool, make no mistake
And he's really amazing
in Swan Lake
Lake
Ballerina, Ballerina
Look at you with all your mates
All the girls
think you're a hunk
And everybody says you're great
Ballerina, Ballerina
I wonder what
you eat for tea
I bet it's something posh like duck and chips
Or chilli con carne
Look
at him dance on the battlefield
Mincing about with a sword and shield
Look at him whirl,
look at him spin
With his bouffant hair and his silver chin
You're really funny
You've
got lots of money
You move like a train on a river of chrome
And you go "Whoa Whoa
Whoa"
Ballerina, Ballerina
Now you have to catch the plane
Fly off back to Russia
Or
wherever you come from again
Ballerina, Ballerina
Blasting off into the sky
What a shame,
I'm so upset
I shake my angry fists and cry
Oh, Ballerina
Bye Bye
I'm Japanese
Well, I'm
a stranger in a weird, foreign land
I just stepped off the Central Line
I've only got
a thousand yen in my hand
That's only £5.29
Please mister, won't you help me out
I cannot
find my way about
Give us a quid to buy some rice and stuff
Oh-
Can
you direct me to the station, please?
Oh-
Chinese, Japanese, dirty
knees, what are these?
Back in Japan I've got a bamboo bungalow
I cook my noodles in
a wok
My flag is red with stars of wonderful yellow
Oh no, that's China, I forgot
Bad
men say I pronounce an "R"
Like it's an "L" and vice versa
But that's just lacist and
lidicurous
Oh-
You say I'm not and I will flick the V's
Oh-
Shogun,
Pokemon, Hiroshima, konichiwa
Red circle on a big white cloth
Godzilla fights the giant
moth
Kimonoed geishas do a dance
Fat blokes fight in their underpants
I love the gleaming
cities
Cartoon kiddies with big titties
Why won't you accept I'm from Tokyo?
It makes
me broody angly
Oh-
I eat raw fish and I'm allergic to cheese
Oh-
Hentai, Shoganai, Samurai, Banzai
Oh-
Even though I'm blonde
and I'm as tall as John Cleese
Oh-
Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees,
what are these?
I saw you in a shop front yesterday
And I had to take you
home
With your plastic arms and your shiny face
Hey man, you're looking cool
I dressed
you up in silk and lace
And a pirate's hat and cape
Then we went down town
And danced
the night away
People say you're just a fantasy
But they don't know how much you mean
to me
People are cruel
And they call me a fool
But they don't understand
Sex dummy
I took
you down to a disco bar
And they all thought I was weird
When we sat in the café drinking
wine
They said I was a spacker
It's getting hard and I can't go on
Why won't they accept
us?
I've got a good mind to blow them all away
People say you're a monstrosity
And everyone
I meet is scared of me
They say I'm mad
But they're wrong and they're bad
They are all
just jealous
Sex dummy
I took you round the back of the supermarket
Over by the disused
factories and the high-
Beneath the concrete underpass
You looked
beautiful in the moonlight
Your plastic skin shining
Under your bright leather studded
cowboy pants
I told you I loved you
And we made love in the car park
One last time up
against the wall
Then I threw you on the skip like a load of old rubbish
I won't forget
you, sex dummy
Then I sprayed myself in plastic
Now I really look fantastic
You may
be gone
But I'll still carry on
Now I'm just like you
Sex dummy
Prince Charles
Cinderella, Cinderella
Don't you ever listen to your sisters
Cinderella,
Cinderella
They're only ugly men in silly dresses
Cinderella, Cinderella
Always remember
that you are an Indian
Cinderella, Cinderella
When you grow up, you're probably going
to marry
Prince Charles
Ah ah, ah ah, ah ah
Prince Charles
Ah ah, ah ah, ah ah
Cinderella,
Cinderella
Driving to the wedding in a pumpkin
Dressed in leather and peacock feathers
Fancy
tights and multi-
Cinderella, Cinderella
Always remember the part of
you that's cowboy
Don't you dither or reconsider
Get up the aisle or you're never going
to marry
Prince Charles
Ah ah, ah ah, ah ah
Prince Charles
Ah ah, ah ah, ah ah
Don't you
worry, you poor little Indian
Suffering in the sand
You sold your lands to the white
invader
But at least you looked good
Cinderella, Cinderella
Changes her mind and runs
from the cathedral
Drives away in the royal pumpkin
And crashes it in an underpass
in Paris
Cinderella, you are dead, but
You'll be remembered by everyone forever
Not
because you're good or clever
But because you very nearly married
Prince Charles
Ah
ah, ah ah, ah ah
Prince Charles
Ah ah, ah ah, ah ah
Indian, you're Indian
You're Indian
with a little bit of cowboy
Indian, you're Indian
You're Indian with a little bit of
cowboy
Is My Toaster Sentient?
Sitting in a gas mask waiting for World War 3125 Million
Sitting
in the park with a friend called Doctor Six
Oh look, there's JG Ballard in a burnt
out fridge with a Spitfire pilot
Took so much smack, I nearly married a car
Back in
my bedsit, there's nothing to see
Just four grey walls and me and a TV
And faded photographs
of Nazi stormtroopers in PVC
Is my toaster sentient?
If not, then how does it know
how not to burn the toast?
Is my toaster sentient?
'Cause when mine broke down, I could
swear I heard it crying
I don't know why
What do you think?
Maybe you'd cry if you couldn't
make toast
Standing on the staircase in a black rubber top and a long, grey trenchcoat
Pink
neon light bulb swinging over my head
I am not a Romo or a New Romantic, I'm a Cyborg
rapist
I'm made of gas and wires and electric tubes and tarmac
Is my toaster sentient?
If
not, then why did he give Mr Kettle a kiss?
Is my toaster sentient?
He likes silent
films and his girlfriend's name is Chronos
Oh, what's going on in this messed up world?
There
are loads of things I don't understand
Like, what is love?
What's the difference between
boys and girls?
What's that penis between my legs for?
If I plug it in the wall, will
it light up?
Or will I die?
Is my toaster sentient?
Is my blender mad? Is my telephone
autistic?
Is my car a genius?
Is my bin a twat? Is my oven epileptic?
Is my Dad a photograph?
Is
my Mum a spy? Is my grandad made of circuits?
Is my face an alien?
Is my arse a film?
Are my elbows electronic?
Do you wanna come back to my place?
We can look at my secret
mucky Polaroids
Just please don't tell my Mum
Geometry
I was standing in my bedroom
Thinking about triangles
So I got out my ruler
And
I drew one on some cardboard -
I showed it to my Mother
And
she just stared at me blankly
She didn't understand it
So she sent me down the shop
to buy a pack of twenty Regal
Architects and flowers
Use the same mathematic powers
There's
elegance and poetry
In the beauty of geometry
I wrote a letter to Lego
Expressing my
disappointment
That they don't do dodecahedrons
But nobody wrote back to me and I was
really very angry
I went down to their office
Stood outside it with a placard
Saying
"Make dodecahedrons"
Then a big bloke in a suit came out and pushed me down a banking
Pythagoras
and Euclid
Don't underestimate what they did
Imagine the futility
Of a world without
geometry
Every Friday night, I go down town
With a hexagon hat and equations in my
fist
Visions of isosceles in my head
I tell everyone in the pub
Oh, why won't they understand
That
the power of shapes can transform our lives
We are all equilateral in the eyes of
God
But some are more equilateral than others
But triangles and polygons
Pi R times
the square root of R squared
Plus H squared
Alpha over Theta equals
Omega to the power of Ulysees divided by three
That's the wonderful, exciting, sexy
world of geometry
Individuals
Dancing in a nightclub
Waiting for the bomb to come
I hope
I look good when I die
Hope my make-
Individuals!
See the businessmen
marching in line
Marching in line like clockwork clowns
Marching in line like a load
of robots
Going "Click whiz bang"
Individuals!
We're moving
We're moving
We're moving
on the floor
We're moving
We're moving
We're moving like boys
We're moving
We're moving
We're
moving to the drum
We're moving
We're moving
To the dance beat
Individuals!
See the businessmen
come in the club
Trying to kill us with their desks and phones
See the proud warrior
running down the high street
With a stapler through his skull
Individuals!
Get your
hair cut, get a pension plan
Wear a grey suit and a tie, look like a man
Grey
Waiting
for a 1930's train
On a suitcase in the rain
I fade to the distance and fade back again
Leaning
in a darkened underpass
With a robot made of glass
In a pinstripe suit, a Pierrot hat
and a David Niven tash
Purple and green, they're too seventies for me
Yellow and red
-
The only colour that's any cop is grey
Sitting
in a Rolls Royce by the wharf
With my chauffeur, he's a dwarf
He looked at me with
his cold, grey eyes and said
"Gary -
Black and
white -
The former too dark and the latter too light
The
only colour that's any cop is grey
The only things I like are grey
Androids, answer
phones and Polaroids of clay
Old ladies in a French café
Whose hair is grey
The only
things I like are grey
Volcanic corpses in the ruins of Pompeii
Great concrete slabs
in Haringey
All painted grey
I only like grey
Well, I suppose silver's OK
But that's
still grey
In a shiny sort of way
Hey
I like grey
Grey
Grey
(live version only)
Grey
Take
me away
To a beautiful land where just everything is all grey
What can I say?
I'll always
believe in the colour of glory
Grey
The colour of love
Like the moon and the stars and
the sun up above
Like industrial slag
Like a soldier's bag
I'll always believe in the
colour of heroes
Oh, grey, I love you
Grey
Lyrics by Waen Shepherd 2002-
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