2003 - 2020
Radio, Podcasts & Stage
SONGS FOR RADIO
MEATY PORKY FACE (written for ‘Lucy Montgomery’s
Variety Pack’) BBC Radio 4 [October 11 & 14, 2010]
COME ON LEANNE (from ‘The Don’t Watch With Mother
Sketchbook’) BBC Radio 4 [March 4-6, 2008]
CAN DO CANDI: Demo (written for ‘Lucy Montgomery’s
Variety Pack’) BBC Radio 4 [March 6, 2009]
MUSIC FOR PODCASTS
EXTRA LIFE: Main Theme
October 2-6, 2020
DOCTOR WHO (from ‘Doctor Where’)
April 25 - May 13, 2018
SOUNDS FOR THEATRE
MOTOR LOVE: Extended Dance Mix (from ‘Disco’)
September 24 - February 2, 2011
LIFT OFF (from ‘Disco’)
November 4, 2010 - February 14, 2011
YEAH YEAH YEAH: Vocal demo (from ‘Mutton’)
2007
SATURDAY NIGHT: Doll’s House Mix (from Si Spencer’s
‘A Doll’s House’) January 3 & 6, 2013
WARNING: SUDDEN, VIOLENT DYNAMIC VOLUME
FLUCTUATIONS MAY HURT YOUR EARS AND BRAIN
FEMALE GOTHIC: Highlights (from ‘Female Gothic’)
May 22 - June 14, 2012
SONGS FOR MY STAGE ACT
LITTLE OLD NICK - Colin Watson
Track December 2, 2008; Vocal December 19, 2013
ME AND YOU, A MONKEY, A TEDDY, A DEAF KID AND A
SHOE - Colin Watson (2008) [Nov 7, 2007 & Jun 6, 2008]
SEX MAN - Blake Famous
August 26 & September 8, 2009
RAINING IN MY BRAIN - Blake Famous
August 31 & September 8, 2009
THE FIREMAKER: Far Too Much Mix (from ‘Doctor Who:
Far Too Much Information’) September 22-24, 2020
THE FIREMAKER (from ‘Doctor Who: Too Much
Information’) July 23 - September 17, 2020
CAVEYARD 1 (from ‘Doctor Who: Too Much
Information’) September 21-29, 2020
NORTHAMPTON (from ‘I Am Northampton’)
November 2008
NORMAN - Gary Le Strange
January 9 - November 11, 2014
GREY (extended version) - Gary Le Strange
August 2002 - July 2003
CAVEYARD 5 (from ‘Doctor Who: Too Much
Information’) September 21-29, 2020
SHORTYARD 2 (from ‘Doctor Who: Too Much
Information’) September 29, 2020
MIDDLESBROUGH (written for ‘Danny Robins
Music Therapy’) BBC Radio 4 [October 10, 2008]
DAY OF THE MAGGOTS - Gary Le Strange
January 26 - July 21, 2006
EXTRA LIFE: a podcast about video games made by Great Big Owl. This is the theme
tune. And here’s the podcast.
DOCTOR WHERE: another theme commissioned by Great Big Owl, for a comedy
podcast about Doctor Who that, for some reason, never happened (at least, not yet).
The general brief: some guy has been asked to do a cover of the Doctor Who theme
but gets carried away with his own self-importance and makes the most OTT version
imaginable. In other words, yes - it’s supposed to be like that.
DOCTOR WHO - TOO MUCH INFORMATION: a Doctor Who podcast by Toby Hadoke
that did actually happen, and continues to happen on a regular basis. Included here
are my long mix of the theme tune (adapted from The Firemaker, the original mix of
which is here), an alternate mix I made for Toby’s related podcast ‘Far Too Much
Information’, and a couple of bits of semi-improvised background music made for
both shows. There are a couple more mixes of The Firemaker here if you really, really
like it. And probably another twenty or so knocking around on my hard drive.
MUSIC FOR PODCASTS
LIFT OFF was conceived as an OTT opener to Simon Messingham’s musical play ‘Disco’,
performed at the Brighton Fringe in 2011. With its intricate arrangement and
mercurial structure, blending funk, rock and synthpop with an orchestral melody and
a brass section, it probably qualifies as one of the most complex and difficult pieces of
music I’ve ever attempted. As a result, it doesn’t really work as disco - it’s so overladen
with sounds that the beat gets completely buried in the mix - and I’ve always regarded
it as one of my noblest failures.
MOTOR LOVE fares slightly better - this is a proper comedy song from the same show,
and you can feel the beat just fine. This is the extended mix, which got turned into a
video - still available to watch here.
NORTHAMPTON: I wrote this for Tom Meeten’s solo show ‘I am Northampton’ which
ran for a week at the Hen & Chickens in Islington. Tom subsequently sang it at various
pubs and clubs around the country over the next couple of years (apparently it usually
went down pretty well).
YEAH YEAH YEAH was from a play called ‘Mutton’ (Edinburgh Fringe 2007) about an
80s girl band reviving their career in the 21st century. This song (with lyrics by Kiki
Kendrick, slightly adapted by me) was supposed to be one of their 80s hits. This is my
original demo. I was always pretty chuffed with the production on this one.
SATURDAY NIGHT: a remix of Whigfield’s 90s classic - well, actually a series of sound
effect cues for a scary play written by the great Si Spencer, which he decided to call ‘A
Doll’s House’ just to be confusing (it wasn’t quite the same one Ibsen wrote). At various
points, Whigfield’s song can be heard bleeding through the walls, alongside various
knocks and bangs, until eventually, all hell breaks loose. In the absence of context, I’ve
assembled the whole sequence of events into a seven-minute dance remix for your
listening pleasure. WARNING: THERE ARE VIOLENT AND SUDDEN DYNAMIC VOLUME
FLUCTUATIONS IN THIS PIECE. PLEASE TAKE MY ADVICE ABOUT ‘LISTENING PLEASURE’
VERY LOOSELY. YOU WILL NOT EXPERIENCE PLEASURE LISTENING TO THIS.
FEMALE GOTHIC was one of four shows I worked on for Dyad Productions when they
first started out, sourcing sound effects and creating atmospheric soundscapes. I’m
not a foley artist - these are collages of sound effects that mainly already existed - but
they do paint unique pictures. Rebecca Vaughan started doing this show in 2012 and
it’s still touring now in 2023.
SOUNDS FOR THEATRE
I didn’t work in radio for long but I wrote for a few shows back in my previous
incarnation as a comedy songwriter.
COME ON LEANNE is a parody of Dexy’ Midnight Runners I was commissioned to write
for a Radio 4 pilot called ‘The Don’t Watch With Mother Sketchbook’ which I starred in
alongside Rhys Thomas, Lucy Montgomery, Tony Way and John Hopkins. It didn’t get a
series - maybe the central idea about us being a sketch show from the 1980s no one
had ever heard of was too difficult to swallow - but it did get broadcast.
MEATY PORKY FACE was written for Lucy Montgomery’s Variety Pack but, on reflection,
not right for the show. My wife Katy helped me with the vocals. CAN DO CANDI,
written for Lucy’s ‘Liza Minnelli’ character Candi Karmel, turned up several times
however, usually with live piano by Philip Pope.
MIDDLESBROUGH is one of two songs I wrote for Danny Robins’ Music Therapy. The
bucket list of references that went into the song were all to do with a piece Danny did
about the real-life mayor of Middlesbrough - especially how much he liked Status Quo.
Sung in the show by a real-life Status Quo tribute band. I’ve always thought of it as a
companion piece to NORTHAMPTON (see above) - probably because I wrote them
around the same time. This isn’t the final form of the song as broadcast but it’s the
one I find most acceptable.
SONGS FOR RADIO
Finally, here’s a bunch of songs I wrote for my own stage act, back in the days when I
actually still had one. Three characters represented here: Colin Watson, a damaged
60s surf-rocker loosely based on Brian Wilson; Blake Famous, a plummy-voiced 1950s
British rock & roller; and Gary Le Strange, a New Romantic pop star who can’t seem to
break free of the early 1980s.
I’m not sure these songs belong here, while I’m showing you my serious side and
trying to be all grown up. The Colin Watson songs tend towards disturbing childish
weirdness, while the Blake Famous songs are what I’ve been told might be described
as ‘the right kind of wrong’. They all feel very odd in the context of this site. It’s like
peering back into the life of some other bloke I inherited the memories of, and
wondering whether I really know him any more. But they sum up the acts pretty well.
While Colin and Blake were fairly short-lived, Gary Le Strange endured for a good few
years back in the 2000s (and a brief revival in the 2010s). GREY is one of his most
celebrated songs (and one of the earliest I wrote for him). There’s a video directed by
Stewart Lee for ITV’s Comedy Cuts here if you fancy it. NORMAN is a more recent
offering from his 2014 revival (which many people tell me is their secret favourite).
DAY OF THE MAGGOTS is a ten-minute prog rock mini-opera from Gary’s brief
psychedelic period (i.e. the time he actually did break free from the early 1980s). I
basically did this as a dare, but also as a reflection of a mini-breakdown I was having,
as I transformed from being an up-and-coming stand-up comedian into something far
less up-and-coming and much more music-based. It formed the emotional
centrepiece of my 2006 Edinburgh Fringe show ‘Beef Scarecrow’ - coincidentally also
the bit where most people would decide they’d had enough and walk out. Despite this,
it was a surprise hit at the Latitude Festival four years running, I once performed it at
the Queen Elizabeth Hall with a thirty-piece orchestra, and it possibly represents the
inner psyche of Gary Le Strange better than anything else he’s ever written.
There’s more from him at The Gary Le Strange Archive.
SONGS FOR MY STAGE ACT
Radio, Podcasts
& Stage
2003 - 2020
MUSIC FOR PODCASTS
DOCTOR WHO - TOO MUCH INFORMATION: a Doctor
Who podcast by Toby Hadoke that did actually
happen, and continues to happen on a regular basis.
Included here are my long mix of the theme tune
(adapted from The Firemaker, the original mix of
which is here), an alternate mix I made for Toby’s
related podcast ‘Far Too Much Information’, and a
couple of bits of semi-improvised background music
made for both shows. There are a couple more mixes
of The Firemaker here if you really, really like it. And
probably another twenty or so knocking around on
my hard drive.
EXTRA LIFE: Main Theme
October 2-6, 2020
DOCTOR WHO (from ‘Doctor Where’)
April 25 - May 13, 2018
THE FIREMAKER: Far Too Much Mix (from ‘Doctor Who:
Far Too Much Information’) September 22-24, 2020
THE FIREMAKER (from ‘Doctor Who: Too Much
Information’) July 23 - September 17, 2020
CAVEYARD 1 (from ‘Doctor Who: Too Much
Information’) September 21-29, 2020
CAVEYARD 5 (from ‘Doctor Who: Too Much
Information’) September 21-29, 2020
SHORTYARD 2 (from ‘Doctor Who: Too Much
Information’) September 29, 2020
EXTRA LIFE: a podcast about video games made by
Great Big Owl. This is the theme tune. And here’s the
podcast.
DOCTOR WHERE: another theme commissioned by
Great Big Owl, for a comedy podcast about Doctor
Who that, for some reason, never happened (at least,
not yet). The general brief: some guy has been asked
to do a cover of the Doctor Who theme but gets
carried away with his own self-importance and makes
the most OTT version imaginable. In other words, yes
- it’s supposed to be like that.
SOUNDS FOR THEATRE
LIFT OFF was conceived as an OTT opener to Simon
Messingham’s musical play ‘Disco’, performed at the
Brighton Fringe in 2011. With its intricate
arrangement and mercurial structure, blending funk,
rock and synthpop with an orchestral melody and a
brass section, it probably qualifies as one of the most
complex and difficult pieces of music I’ve ever
attempted. As a result, it doesn’t really work as disco -
it’s so overladen with sounds that the beat gets
completely buried in the mix - and I’ve always
regarded it as one of my noblest failures.
MOTOR LOVE fares slightly better - this is a proper
comedy song from the same show, and you can feel
the beat just fine. This is the extended mix, which got
turned into a video - still available to watch here.
MOTOR LOVE: Extended Dance Mix (from ‘Disco’)
September 24 - February 2, 2011
LIFT OFF (from ‘Disco’)
November 4, 2010 - February 14, 2011
YEAH YEAH YEAH: Vocal demo (from ‘Mutton’)
2007
SATURDAY NIGHT: Doll’s House Mix (from Si Spencer’s
‘A Doll’s House’) January 3 & 6, 2013
WARNING: SUDDEN, VIOLENT DYNAMIC VOLUME
FLUCTUATIONS MAY HURT YOUR EARS AND BRAIN
FEMALE GOTHIC: Highlights (from ‘Female Gothic’)
May 22 - June 14, 2012
NORTHAMPTON (from ‘I Am Northampton’)
November 2008
NORTHAMPTON: I wrote this for Tom Meeten’s solo
show ‘I am Northampton’ which ran for a week at the
Hen & Chickens in Islington. Tom subsequently sang
it at various pubs and clubs around the country over
the next couple of years (apparently it usually went
down pretty well).
YEAH YEAH YEAH was from a play called ‘Mutton’
(Edinburgh Fringe 2007) about an 80s girl band
reviving their career in the 21st century. This song
(with lyrics by Kiki Kendrick, slightly adapted by me)
was supposed to be one of their 80s hits. This is my
original demo. I was always pretty chuffed with the
production on this one.
SATURDAY NIGHT: a remix of Whigfield’s 90s classic -
well, actually a series of sound effect cues for a scary
play written by the great Si Spencer, which he
decided to call ‘A Doll’s House’ just to be confusing (it
wasn’t quite the same one Ibsen wrote). At various
points, Whigfield’s song can be heard bleeding
through the walls, alongside various knocks and
bangs, until eventually, all hell breaks loose. In the
absence of context, I’ve assembled the whole
sequence of events into a seven-minute dance remix
for your listening pleasure. WARNING: THERE ARE
VIOLENT AND SUDDEN DYNAMIC VOLUME
FLUCTUATIONS IN THIS PIECE. PLEASE TAKE MY
ADVICE ABOUT ‘LISTENING PLEASURE’ VERY LOOSELY.
YOU WILL NOT EXPERIENCE PLEASURE LISTENING TO
THIS.
FEMALE GOTHIC was one of four shows I worked on
for Dyad Productions when they first started out,
sourcing sound effects and creating atmospheric
soundscapes. I’m not a foley artist - these are collages
of sound effects that mainly already existed - but they
do paint unique pictures. Rebecca Vaughan started
doing this show in 2012 and it’s still touring at the
time of writing in 2023.
SONGS FOR RADIO
MEATY PORKY FACE (written for ‘Lucy Montgomery’s
Variety Pack’) BBC Radio 4 [October 11 & 14, 2010]
COME ON LEANNE (from ‘The Don’t Watch With
Mother Sketchbook’) BBC Radio 4 [March 4-6, 2008]
CAN DO CANDI: Demo (written for ‘Lucy Montgomery’s
Variety Pack’) BBC Radio 4 [March 6, 2009]
MIDDLESBROUGH (written for ‘Danny Robins
Music Therapy’) BBC Radio 4 [October 10, 2008]
MIDDLESBROUGH is one of two songs I wrote for
Danny Robins’ Music Therapy. The bucket list of
references that went into the song were all to do with
a piece Danny did about the real-life mayor of
Middlesbrough - especially how much he liked Status
Quo. Sung in the show by a real-life Status Quo
tribute band. I’ve always thought of it as a companion
piece to NORTHAMPTON (see above) - probably
because I wrote them around the same time. This
isn’t the final form of the song as broadcast but it’s
the one I find most acceptable.
I didn’t work in radio for long but I wrote for a few
shows back in my previous incarnation as a comedy
songwriter.
COME ON LEANNE is a parody of Dexy’ Midnight
Runners I was commissioned to write for a Radio 4
pilot called ‘The Don’t Watch With Mother Sketchbook’
which I starred in alongside Rhys Thomas, Lucy
Montgomery, Tony Way and John Hopkins. It didn’t get
a series - maybe the central idea about us being a
sketch show from the 1980s no one had ever heard of
was too difficult to swallow - but it did get broadcast.
MEATY PORKY FACE was written for Lucy
Montgomery’s Variety Pack but, on reflection, not
right for the show. My wife Katy helped me with the
vocals. CAN DO CANDI, written for Lucy’s ‘Liza
Minnelli’ character Candi Karmel, turned up several
times however, usually with live piano by Philip Pope.
DAY OF THE MAGGOTS is a ten-minute prog rock mini-
opera from Gary’s brief psychedelic period (i.e. the
time he actually did break free from the early 1980s). I
basically did this as a dare, but also as a reflection of
a mini-breakdown I was having, as I transformed from
being an up-and-coming stand-up comedian into
something far less up-and-coming and much more
music-based. It formed the emotional centrepiece of
my 2006 Edinburgh Fringe show ‘Beef Scarecrow’ -
coincidentally also the bit where most people would
decide they’d had enough and walk out. Despite this,
it was a surprise hit at the Latitude Festival four years
running, I once performed it at the Queen Elizabeth
Hall with a thirty-piece orchestra, and it possibly
represents the inner psyche of Gary Le Strange better
than anything else he’s ever written.
There’s more from him at The Gary Le Strange
Archive.
Finally, here’s a bunch of songs I wrote for my own
stage act, back in the days when I actually still had
one. Three characters represented here: Colin
Watson, a damaged 60s surf-rocker loosely based on
Brian Wilson; Blake Famous, a plummy-voiced 1950s
British rock & roller; and Gary Le Strange, a New
Romantic pop star who can’t seem to break free of
the early 1980s.
SONGS FOR MY STAGE ACT
LITTLE OLD NICK - Colin Watson
Track December 2, 2008; Vocal December 19, 2013
ME AND YOU, A MONKEY, A TEDDY, A DEAF KID AND A
SHOE - Colin Watson (2008) [Nov 7, 2007 & Jun 6, 2008]
SEX MAN - Blake Famous
August 26 & September 8, 2009
RAINING IN MY BRAIN - Blake Famous
August 31 & September 8, 2009
NORMAN - Gary Le Strange
January 9 - November 11, 2014
GREY (extended version) - Gary Le Strange
August 2002 - July 2003
DAY OF THE MAGGOTS - Gary Le Strange
January 26 - July 21, 2006
I’m not sure these songs belong here, while I’m
showing you my serious side and trying to be all
grown up. The Colin Watson songs tend towards
disturbing childish weirdness, while the Blake Famous
songs are what I’ve been told might be described as
‘the right kind of wrong’. They all feel very odd in the
context of this site. It’s like peering back into the life
of some other bloke I inherited the memories of, and
wondering whether I really know him any more. But
they sum up the acts pretty well.
While Colin and Blake were fairly short-lived, Gary Le
Strange endured for a good few years back in the
2000s (and a brief revival in the 2010s). GREY is one of
his most celebrated songs (and one of the earliest I
wrote for him). There’s a video directed by Stewart Lee
for ITV’s Comedy Cuts here if you fancy it. NORMAN is
a more recent offering from his 2014 revival (which
many people tell me is their secret favourite).
THE GHOUL
(ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK)
Available for streaming and download
exclusively on Bandcamp
